The End of My Start (Part 1)

It’s been a long time since I last made a blog entry. I guess I’m really having a hard time collecting my thoughts again unless there is something big that happened. Writing is an introspective activity, and really, with this schedule and stress, I don’t have any time to think about my thoughts about certain things in my life. Well now, I took a break from that craziness and pessimism.

But hey, I’m still visiting this site, well at least to reread about my past entries. And I gotta say that it was a mess. I’d like to say AMEN in every single entry. Well maybe I’m just too young for a blog that time, but it was also hilarious at the same time, I was able to look back at the confused side, the happy side, the typo-error, and even the broken side of me (yuck!) But this time around, I would like to give emphasis on what had happened to my COLLEGE life (yes! Mature na ako kidding)

 

I have to say that it was a mess too.  I finally achieved my highest level of stress in my life. It was not awesome to feel that way. I’m young, and I feel the need to enjoy whatever kind of life I’m through, but it was just so frustrating that everything starts to fall apart.

 

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT COLLEGE?

There are lots of changes that happened to me when I became a college student. I guess my experiences for the first month can write a novel already, but it was kinda a pessimist novel. Haha. So anyway, I’m still looking forward that everything will be okay, for the next few months. Mid-term is about to come, I’m so nervous it seems like I haven’t learn anything only half kidding. Anyway…

My favourite novel has always been The Perks of Being a Wallflower, since I can see the situation of the main character, Charlie as my very own situation. We’re not so alike actually, not the family situation. IT is the way Charlie thinks. And now with my recent experiences, I was relying to what happened to the novel, where he was able to find friends in the end.

But anyway, since it is not happening yet to me, I just became interested with this quote:

“We can’t choose where we came from, but we can choose where we go from there”- The Perks of Being a Wallflower

FACING THE TRUTH THAT YOU’RE IN COLLEGE

I guess, it is really hard for everyone to accept that now you’re in college, now you’re this mature lady/men, big girl/boy ka na and few years from now, you’ll be working, build your own family. There will be no more happy-go-lucky moments (if ever you don’t want your grades to suffer), and you need to face a serious kind of studying, sleepless nights and dead serious conversations.

But I’m going to admit that until now, my mind is still not yet in college. I can feel that I’m still that spoiled little 12 year old girl, just ignoring her homework and making lousy decisions at school (well no one can blame me for that hihi). I didn’t feel like I actually graduated. I thought it is just a program at school that passed by (huhu my gosh I’m suffering here) so it really is difficult for me to truly accept that I’m now in college, that I’m just a few steps away from the boring serious life of adults. Huhu (thunder na ako haha ayoko pa!)

So anyway, why am I doing this entry? It is because I want to list down some things to keep you alive happy in college (and these are also the things I’m hoping I can do in college lol).

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JOURNALISM PART 4: The National Schools Press Conference

It became a long way for me to get into National Level of the most prestigious competition in Campus Journalism, and I know it was a long way to make this entry too haha, so here I am again, dealing with my thoughts. You know I had a problem with my mind these past few days. It’s not into blogging that’s why last Saturday I didn’t have any entry. Anyway, so now that my brain is working (yehey finally!), I’m writing down here the lessons I learned from the Nationals. I know, I’m always writing all the things I realized at Journalism, but the urge has always been there, and I need to deal with it.

Reaching the National is not easy. You have to go through lots of trainings, frustrations, mood swings etc. Until now, I truly believe that in Journalism, you still need to hold on to the power of luck. I’m not being bitter. I accepted everything with ease when my name is not called on the roster of winners, later I’ll explain why.

Going to the NSPC is already an achievement, WINNING IS JUST A BONUS. I’m not bitter (again lol), but not all the people, who are wanting and desperate, to go to the NSPC are given the chance (and I know lots of them). So reaching this far, as a first timer who once turned her back at Journalism is already an achievement. Simply, this is my biggest achievement. 

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How difficult it was to move on?

I really contradict the people’s idea that moving on is just applicable to those people who had been in a relationship but I gotta say no it is not. As long as you loved someone, then he/she doesn’t love you back, well I can say that it is a choice for you to move on.

 

It really sounds crazy right now but I’m writing this blog post in front of the person I fell in love (but also hate). He’s lying over there, resting. But I came up to this point that I should really give up on him. He placed me through lots difficulties and heartaches. But I’m doing this again. I hope I can say that now I completely moved on, but I guess that’s just too hard for me to say that it is official.

WHY DO PEOPLE FEEL THE NEED TO MOVE ON?

It is because we want to keep on moving forward. We want to look for something that will make our life a lot more interesting, than being stuck in misery. Like the reason why we’re studying, we study because we want to get a job in the future that will help us to pursue our dreams and that will live our families. We want to grow old, and die in happiness.

And now in love, we want to keep on moving forward because we feel the need to be happy, to be satisfied and have a settlement in the future. Love is not something we need to get hesitate with, although sometimes we are getting confused at the start. Once you confirmed that if that is love, well there is no need for you to be unsure at all. It is something you need to look up to, something you need to face, and something you need to confess. Because once you get afraid on saying what you truly feel for the particular person, it’ll break you into tiny pieces.

BUT EVEN THOUGH WE LIKE IT OR NOT, MOVING ON IS REALLY EASY SAID THAN DONE.