Wanna be hurt?

The Pain

            If you are going to visit all my entry blogs in the blog archive, you can notice that almost all of my entries are dramatic. It’s really dramatic. I don’t know why. Maybe because it is true that teenage years are the parts where almost all of us get confuse. We’re confused about love, family, and friends. But that is just my introduction it is not about the topic that I trying to go through. Hihi I’m such a dork.

            Sometimes, we just want to be hurt. We want to hurt our body physically, emotionally and mentally just because we want to experience how does it feel and how you can overcome it. Of course, most of us don’t want to be hurt. We always want to be happy but remember, you’re not going to experience what happiness is if you’re not going to experience how it feels to be sad. That’s a cliché already all of us know but it is really important.

I really envy those people in a relationship. It is not because I want to flirt or what. It is just that I want to experience, somehow, how to be hurt and how to move on. It sounds crazy but the reason why I want to be in a relationship at an early age is because I want to be hurt. I want to know how to overcome that pain. Because the wound that you got from being hurt will someday become a scar. Though that scar will constantly remind you how much you’ve been hurt before, it will give you the fact that you can be strong and believe that you can truly overcome all of those challenges in life, though how difficult it was. It serves as a lesson in life and somehow, it can immune and prepare you to the pain that you might encounter in the future.

I remember when our MAPEH teacher told us that we need to accept the fact that all of us are going to die and we must be prepared with that. It is just like in pain. We need to accept the fact that all of us are going to be hurt. It may hurt a lot or not, but this pain can change our lives and we need to accept that changes.

Back when I was in first year, I’m so unlucky about love. I cried every night just because I want to have a boyfriend. Then I loved someone but that someone pulled me down. Really really down that I can’t go back to my normal level. I suffered for three years. I accpet all the criticsm from him, all the bad things that he did to me, but now my siffering is over.

I cried really hard back in September. He tld something that maybe it is quite that simple to them, but to me, it’s not. It’s a bog deal because he’d been telling me that for so many years and I want to stop it. I suffered from depression. I pulled myself down. I’m distracted, I can’t study well. Then there I came to the point that I really want to forget all bout him. I don’t want to suffer from that pain again. I asked God to help me and guess what, He did.

I’m just super happy to find this guy. Like I said from my earlier post, he’s quite annoying. He’s unlike my former crushes who are rich or famous. No he’s not like that but I’m happy whenever I’m with him.

The reason why I shared that is because I want everyone to have a positive outlook in life. Though you suffered for so many years, there will be someone out there, really, who’s waiting for you.

How heartbreak killed you, that’s how love is going to live you. There is just some kind of equilibrium between the two. You break, you love. It’s just super exciting to be in this kind of state where you have to put yourself into a new lease of life.

My friends and even my family are always saying that I always smile. Yes I am and that is because I’m happy. Not because of the fact that there is something bad that happened. It’s not a sinister smile. It’s a smile that comes from my heart. When I forgot him, I was able to do that. So I learned not to stick with someone who you knew can’t love you back. Don’t stick with someone who can’t make you happy. Forget then you’ll be the happiest

Maybe it is not some kind of you-have-to-be-in-a-relationship because you want him. NO! As long as you’re happy, that’s what matters. 

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There will always be a new chapter for you. Your life is always going to be a novel; different chapters have different characters to work on. Place this new chapter into your heart to experience the experiences that you really wanted to feel.

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Like I said before, move on. Don’t let yourself be stuck in a corner where no one can help you. Move around. Life is an adventure that needs to be explored.

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God is always going to be there for you. Trust him so you can feel it too.

Be True, ALWAYS- RM