We make or we break

(HOW TO DEAL WITH THE MOTIVATIONS WE LOST)

We humans, compete in so many ways. We compete for a contest, with our classmates, in love, in life. We’re competing not because we want to get the worst outcome; we’re competing because we want to make good things happen. We’re not those little kids anymore, who may either cry or not when they loss or win in a specific contest. We’re teenagers who’re trying to figure out what we are and what we want to be in the next few years of our life as an adult.

As a fourth year student, I feel the need to make my life something worthy. Since my parents got separated, I never loved myself. I’m giving more love to the things where I want to be good with. I can still remember my grade school years where I want to make good grades ONLY because I thought that will be the best way to overcome the loneliness that I feel.

As of now, high school made me realize that if you want to be happy, you need to know who you are, what you’re capable of and the things that do not oppose what you feel. I’m going to admit that until now, I’m still having a bit of my identity crisis, but at least I could distract myself to get away from that. Well now my only problem is how to make thing right for me with a right motivation.

Having a motivation can be the biggest pleasure you can feel whenever you want to be successful in a place where you know you don’t excel well. But I realized that providing yourself a motivation can either be like this, it can build you or it can destroy you.

When you have a dream, you’re going to be desperate making it, because you think that you’ll be happy with the success you’re going to get. Our motivation becomes a part of our dreams, and of course, you have this urge for that motivation to feel the same way as yours. Let’s just say that you’re motivation is a person. He/ She became your dream, but what if he/she doesn’t want you to be a part of your dream? What if it happens to you?

You’re motivation is the one who helps you climb up from the deepest part of something, but once you discovered that he/she doesn’t want to hold you at all, you might fall and go back to the place where you came from. And once when you fall, you might get broken and can’t go back to the same way as you are before, and the worst part of it is that we can’t go back to what we really are before. We are those humans who’re trying to get over the things that happened in a way that we’re not expecting.

When I joined journalism, I thought I can now receive the love that I’m dying to get for so long. I know that it is so wrong to search love in such a young age but I feel the need to make it because it makes me feel that writing can be a lot more possible, where I once turned my back.

I still remember a line from a book. It says that “When we’re in love, we see life through rose-colored eyeglasses”. I guess that is true. When you’re in love, we can really see how wonderful life is, a perfect life. But perfection is a mere illusion. There is nothing in this world that is perfect. We want to make that love a motivation and you don’t want to let it go.

When we lose that motivation, or let’s just simply put that the person you’re motivated leaves you, our heart is going to be crippled so many times. It can really destroy you. The worst part of being distracted is that we’re dying from the inside and literally killing ourselves in the outside. You want your heart to cease between beats, you want your heart and mind to at least stop for a while and let those blood in your veins go back in the flow. You want and you don’t want. You’re contradicting yourself.

If you once see life through rose-colored eyeglasses, you can now see life in black sunglasses that can make you feel blind in the dim. You might stumble and cry out of pain because of what happened to you. I cannot give any opinion on how to get over from it, but what I want to happen is to give the ways on how to prevent it, (credit to my SPA and to my trainer)

YOU’RE YOUNG

I wrote it down here for so many times. I believe that love in such a young age is not really true and I’m willing to hold it until the day I graduate. The love we want is not real. It is just some kind of attraction that makes us blind. There are rare cases that there are really love in high school that is true. But those are R-A-R-E.

Make sure that the feelings you have are real. How are you going to know? If you have hesitations, then it’s not true. True love happens unexpectedly. You don’t need to SEARCH FOR IT. You’re just going to feel it. I’m telling you, I recently prove that this one is true. As you grow older, love is getting a lot more serious.

It is not because you learned a lot of lesson from being broken. It is because you know yourself a lot more when you get older. You can differentiate that love and like are really different.

 YOU’LL FIND A LOT MORE GUYS

That wasn’t the exact words but I never truly believe in that quote. For me that was lame because among all those specie of fishes, you’ll be able to pick only one. But then again, if you’re broken, you don’t have any other choice but to believe on it. You must learn how to forget, to find another one and spend your days with him to the fullest. Maybe he’s not the right one, or he’s not really the right one so we just need to stop assuming that they would come back and give us the warmth that we really wanted. We need to go with what destiny is leading us. Just let it come with us. We’ll never fail, at the end.

NEVER LET YOUR MOTIVATION DISTRACT YOU

Silly to say, because I said motivation but then it distracts you. It is because once we lose that motivation, we’re trying our best to not let ourselves be distracted by the love we once made, by the motivation we once build. But subconsciously, we’re getting distracted because we think way too much. The only one that we’re thinking is that motivation that we lose, and be scared that we may not be able to do whatever we got inspired from them when we do it again.

But my lesson always comes through this. I need to lose that motivation and have to find out that motivation that can really boost our ability is when we choose to be ourselves. Like what a cliché said, “Be true to yourself.” Because we can’t never ever bring it back, and we have to accept that not all the things you want in life can be yours.

THE DECISION WILL STILL BE YOURS IN THE END

Those people who you get advices from will always be there. They will help you no matter what. However, in the end, the decision will all be yours. It is always your choice. Are you going to listen to their advices or you’ll make your own way on how to get over it? The change will still happen within you.

That’s it everyone. Thanks for reading. Feel free to leave comments below. :-)

-Ricka