Saturday, 22 March 2014

Love brought me blessings


Before you start, there is a little bit of reminder. As you know, I’m still not sure if I already know love so the love that I’m referring to this entry is what I’m feeling.

Like I said before, my true love had never gone by and I don’t consider anything I feel as true love ‘coz I’m just a teenage girl. But now let’s set aside it a bit. Well, like I also said before, I really envy those people who can balance both love and studies but a thing never came up to my mind, that I also can do that.
Well maybe if someone knows me reads this; he or she might say that “What is she saying? She doesn’t even have a boyfriend.” Well that is not the thing that I’m talking about. YES! It is true that I never had a boyfriend but there is just someone who motivated me, who changed my mind and it may sound as cliché as cliché but that person brought me back to the right path.
Like I said in my entry about happiness, he’s particularly annoying, sometimes you’re going to say ‘who the heck are you?’ Well yeah and it actually became severed because of certain reasons.
At actually the middle part, I told myself that I really don’t want him anymore because:

  1.  He became more boastful.
  2. I discovered that he had someone who’s madly in love with (tho’ I guess it is only one sided, I mean it’s only him who’s deeply in love haha ) 
  3.   And everyone hates him
  4.  AND the place where he come from is a place where most of my crushes came from (which is only two aside from him that’s why I tend to dislike him more)
Well you know I really don’t know the reason why this guy really influences me a lot. I had so many mistakes in life. I quit in journalism but never thought that it would be my biggest accomplishment in high school, I weren’t able to pass the UPCAT and many other things but this guy really thought me indirectly that I can still make it.

Honestly, I hate this guy. YES! It might sound as crazy as crazy but it is just because of his attitude. He never stops bragging. Even before the first time I met him, I’m really getting annoyed but there is just something in this guy that I really don’t know. I’m not saying this because they are actually teasing us or what, but even in the very first day that I met him, there is this very weird feeling that I used to deny,

So why am I saying this now? Why am I saying that love brought me blessings? Or let’s get a little bit particular. Why am I saying that he brought me blessing? (Of course there is an exception with God ‘coz his guidance is the one that helps us to bring blessings to our lives)

1.       He gave me encouraging words

This sound pretty lame but really, his simple words like “You can do it” or “Just focus” can force me to do that. I’ve never met a person who can actually order me in a very simple way. And of course, whenever I do the same thing again, probably, I’ll just think of him that he’s on my side, uttering those words again. I know that I think I’m overusing my power of imagination corny but it really did help me.

2.      Bad aura

So this is another crazy thing. Actually, his presence is not that pleasant. Whenever I see him, I really can’t avoid feeling mad about him. And actually that thing motivates me to better at my works. I’m always saying that I should be higher than his level because he’s actually boasting a lot, but can really make me focus on what I’m doing. And another thing, when he’s not around, I can’t do anything good at my works. It is always wrong and I don’t know why it is.

3.      A war is now gone

My former crush actually had never been good to me before. He always pulls me down and thinks that I’m so small. But when I had a crush on this person, he learned about it and eventually, we became friends. In just a snap, I was able to forget all my feelings for him and now we became very close friends.

4.      Study more

I learned that I really do need to focus more on my studies. I even thought that the UPCAT must be on September (because the month that I met him was September). Well I guess because he really does make me study more, and most especially, make me gain my focus again.


Yes, I made the wrong decisions but I learned from it. But what made me learned this thing, by experiencing that kind of love. That love changed everything to me. I became motivated, focused and had the courage that I can do anything that I want to, just stay where you are. I haven’t change myself a bit, but that love definitely changed my outlook.


No matter how hard you fall, you must try to get up. But if you really can’t, try to accept the help of other people. In my situation, I really accept what comes. If that is a blessing I accepted it, and if it is a failure I also accepted it. We have so many different choices, and if you got wrong from the first one, then you can still choice others because it won’t leave you, if you let it stay. Me, I just try to make my mistakes better especially now that I can see an inspiration.

And I realized something, that maybe if I’ll be in a relationship, I’ll be a little bit more motivated. I’ll focus more. That is just the thing that I observed with myself. Maybe you also can be, but you need to do it right.

I know that I can be successful someday, and you too. Just find yourself. If you can’t, find for the person or people who will help you to your very own.


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