There are lots of changes that happened to me when I became a college student. I guess my experiences for the first month can write a novel already, but it was kinda a pessimist novel. Haha. So anyway, I’m still looking forward that everything will be okay, for the next few months. Mid-term is about to come, I’m so nervous it seems like I haven’t learn anything only
My favourite novel has always been The Perks of Being a Wallflower, since I can see the situation of the main character, Charlie as my very own situation. We’re not so alike actually, not the family situation. IT is the way Charlie thinks. And now with my recent experiences, I was relying to what happened to the novel, where he was able to find friends in the end.
But anyway, since it is not happening yet to me, I just became interested with this quote:
“We can’t choose where we came from, but we can choose where we go from there”- The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Going to my current school now, it is my choice, I know, but this is the place where I don’t really want to get into. I realized that we really can’t get whatever we want. We just can’t because there will be something pulling you back. I don’t know why this thing always happens, but one thing is for sure, we will get pissed.
I also get a course that I don’t want (double bad-luck huh?). Why? It is because I’ve decided that I have to give myself an own torture. It is a punishment for not studying well in high school. I know that my life will be boring if I’m going to continue this, but it is our choice what course we want to get in. It was scary; that you’re decision in college will finally define who you’re going to be in the future.
“If you never try, you’ll never know, just what you're worth”- Coldplay
There is no harm with trying. I truly love this line from Coldplay, (
or I just really love the
song and the band haha bias) But it’s true. We’ll never know what we love,
what place we’re meant to be unless we tried. Trying can bring you to the main
purpose of your life, to the place where you love what you’re doing.
“I want to live in the past”
They say that love should be live forwards. In my case, I want to live in the past. I want to go back to the place where I still have at least a hand to hold on to, a place where I can sleep and eat well, and the place where I first realized that essence of my life, the place where I excelled well, where I experienced the biggest ups and downs of my life (well now it’s nothing but DOWN DOWN DOWN). But I just can’t. Why? Simple. It is because they are in the past.
For my whole life, I’ve been searching for the right thing to do. And I was able to search that, but it became too late for me. Have you ever experienced going into a vacation, then you don’t want to go back to the city, but we just can’t because we’re going to work for a living? You see how unfair life is? When we already get what we want and what we need, life will immediately take it back, and really, that’s how sad life is.
It was scary; that you’re decision in college will finally define who you’re going to be in the future. We’re too afraid to face another stage in life, since you don’t have someone with you. Everything is new, everything was so unfamiliar, but you have to adapt to it in a very short time, because if you don’t then probably you’ll be left by the others, like what happened to me.
Plus, we don’t know if getting use to these new things can harm us or not, if it can make us happy or not.
“THAT FEELING OF LOSING EVERYTHING”
Almost all of us got into this stage of our life, when we feel like we lost everything. That’s why we’re too afraid to take life as an adventure and explore. We’re at risk to lose everything. I lost something that’s why I’m feeling like this, and that is a friend. Not because they’re dead or what. It is because I moved into a new college right? That’s how I feel. And now I need to find a way on how to bring it back, or at least how I can find one, in this strange strange world.
Ricka- A freshmen college student